Snap out of it
by Sherlocked2407
Summary: The amazement of a child in front of the power of the nature is a wonder itself. Put some iron filings on the surface of a table and put a magnet under it, at the center of the shadow created by that dust, and you'll see the daze in the eyes of that young creature: the magnetic field lines will have performed their magic again.


I'm not good with words, but I just wanted to thank you.  
You made this possible, my soulmate.

Now the **disclaimers:**

This is the first english fanfiction that I've ever written (I'm italian, so I'm sorry if you'll find any mistakes)

In this setting every character belonging to the Military Service got a sort of "promotion".

For example Roy has become the Führer of Amestris and Riza has become his Colonel and so all the others characters.

Now I'll leave you to the reading.

Hope you enjoy :)

* * *

 **Snap out of it**

"I wanna grab both your shoulders and shake baby  
Snap out of it (Snap out of it)  
I get the feeling I left it too late, but baby  
Snap out of it (Snap out of it)"  
 **Arctic Monkeys - Snap out of it**

"Here, take these." Roy stretched his hand and some coins fell on his palm.

"What for?" he murmured, glancing briefly at cheeky golden eyes that looked at him with mischief.

"Oh my. Is the Führer really _that_ old? Don't you remember, sneaky bastard?" Fullmetal smirked and the ex Colonel arched an eyebrow annoyed.

"Fullmetal, did you forget what your rank is?" he replied, clenching his fist around the cold and slightly slippery money, taking a step behind and turning around, facing his desk.

"520 cents, Mustang. I promised you I would have returned what I borrowed. You became Führer and that's it." Roy didn't turn, when the younger approached the door, but his ears sensed that something was wrong, a metal clattering which seemed a chain that had been hung at the old knob. "I resign. It was not _so_ bad, after all." the door closed behind is back.

Roy quickly slipped the coins in his left pocket and released a sigh, he didn't know he had withheld.

"So that's it." he muttered at the empty office.

* * *

Roy preferred to blame the lately lack of women in his life, rather than giving more credit to dreams that had not meaning at all.  
Four months had passed since Fullmetal had left for West and since the last he had met him; maybe the fact that Edward Elric seemed to mold the images of his sleep could be imputed to the daze at the resignation of one of the most promising Alchemist State of their generation.  
The little detail that those particulars dreams left him with a hard on and an incredible void in his chest at the mere thought that he could have not met his golden eyes for quite some time, was totally neglectable.

"Is something wrong, Führer?" Roy suddenly awoke from his numbness and focused his attention on the determined face of his ex Lieutenant. "You know that you don't have to call me like that, Colonel." Hawkeye smiled softly and a cute dimple formed on her left cheek.

"I know, but I cannot help it. It is who you are now." she replied, crossing her arms over her chest. "Wasn't it what you were aiming for, since the beginning?" she teased him, sitting on the chair in front of his desk.

He ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it a bit.

"Yes, but sometimes I feel all the weight of this title on my shoulders and-"

" _What's really wrong, Roy?_ " Mustang winced; rarely Hawkeye took that type of confidence and whenever she called him with is real name that meant she was being serious about something.

"I received this letter this morning." he said, offering her a small and dirty parchment. "It's from Fullmetal." he clarified, noticing her confusion at the minute and sharp calligraphy on the sheet.  
Hawkeye asked for permission with her eyes and when she received it with a small nod of his neck, she dared to open it.

 _"Hey, sneaky bastard._  
 _I won't take too much of your precious time with this letter and I'll jump directly to the conclusion, avoiding all those little compliments that doesn't really suit us._  
 _You owe me a favour, sneaky bastard, and you owe me a big one; after all didn't I help you with your ascension to the title of Führer, freeing you of that megalomaniac that was King Bradley?_  
 _So pay close attention to what I am writing, if you only miss one thing, I swear that I'm going to kick your ass from Central to Xing, you can bet on it._  
 _I need you to find me Doctor Marcoh, because I have to show him my research about the latest Alchemy's technique I learnt here in West._  
 _I think I have found something that could be useful to the both of us._  
 _Therefore, sneaky bastard - maybe I think that I could use another nickname for you, what do you think of Führer-of-my-ass? -, find him before my return to Central, that will happen about two weeks from when this letter will be sent, otherwise the promise I made in the lines above will be fulfilled._  
 _See ya (unfortunately) soon, ex-Colonel Mustang._  
 _Edward Elric"_

Hakweye carefully folded the parchment and put it on the desk, near the photograph of an annoyed Mustang awkwardly hugged by a cheerful and joyful Maes Hughes.

"I can't really see where the problem lies." she whispered interrogative, confused by the seriousness of her superior.

Roy sighed and rested his head on his left hand, gazing briefly at his uniform.

"You didn't notice the date on the parchment, did you?" he bitterly sighed "It was sent one month ago, Colonel." he murmured, standing up and approaching the window; he looked through the glass, softly shifting the blind. "Fullmetal is two weeks late on his own schedule." he finished, giving a little bump against the wall.  
The Colonel bit her lips and couldn't hold on the inner smile that showed in her eyes full of mirth.

"You are worried about Edward Elric." she teased him, approaching the exit of his office. "After all this time I had your back... I didn't know that for having your full concern I had to be an Elric Brother. Ok, my fault I was born by the wrong father." Hawkeye laughed, watching him in his dark eyes.

"I'm not concerned about Fullmetal!" Roy snapped, glaring at her.

"You know, Führer, you can admit your weaknesses sometimes." she winked and then left the room, leaving him alone.

 _Damned women._

* * *

 _"Tell me, sneaky bastard." Fullmetal's glance bores into his eyes and Roy groans overwhelmed by the feeling on his oversensitive skin. "Would you like if I took it in my mouth?"_

Roy's eyes widened and he came violently in his pants.

Another fuckin' dream.  
Fortunately Fullmetal hadn't made his return.

Yet.

* * *

Havoc stormed in the Central with an immense smile printed on his square face, between his thin lips an unlit cigarette butt dropping ash on the shoulder of his uniform.

"Havoc, you know Mustang'll have your ass if you don't clean your-"

"I don't care, Fuery." Havoc stopped him, grinning even more, while approaching his desk and taking a lighter. "I don't care what Mustang'll think of my appeareance, because today you won't believe who I-"

"You don't care _what_ , Havoc?"

Roy appeared behind his back and arched an eyebrow, when the Lieutenant drop his cigarette from his lips for the astonishment.

"I-" he faltered, smilingly guilty.

"You have ash on your left shoulder. Clean it away." Mustang concluded, turning away and winking in a cospirational way at Fuery.

"I've seen the older Elric Brother, today." the Führer stopped his advance. "What?" murmured, the beating of his own heart pulsed in his ears.

"I've seen him at the station. He's back, Roy."

Mustang clenched his fist and flew away.

* * *

He would have soon met Fullmetal, soon he would have met his golden eyes again and would have been shifted away by those small and darker specks that surrounded his irises.  
He had been caught up by Edward Elric's eyes from the very first moment he had met him.

" _There was fire in those eyes._ " he had told Hawkeye, after their meeting.

A fire that had lit his own heart, with every single argument they had throughout all those years they had spent together as superior _and not that much_ subject.  
He had hated him, the first weeks. He couldn't pass by his site without rolling his eyes, whenever he whistled just to annoy him. Often he toned the military hymn, mocking the blue uniform to which he had never surrendered.  
Too many times he had to reprove him for a wrong behavior:

" _You can't answer back to one of your superior._ " then he unfailingly lifted up his right forefinger. " _Even if they call you short._ "

One of Edward Elric's weaknesses was clearly his height and Mustang knew that too damn well.  
Not so that few times he had stepped the fine line that should have existed between them, but he really couldn't help the fun he drew by their little quarrelsome moments.

" _Who are you calling short, sneaky bastard?_ " he used to yell back, whenever Roy dropped the bait.

Yes, Roy Mustang could have attributed most of his laughs in the latest years to the irascible demeanour of that weird child that just happened in his life.  
So it wasn't so surprising why the Führer was so affected by the return of his subject, after all those months he had dreamt of things that could not -must not- be repeated aloud.  
Fullmetal had made his return and Roy, although he had not the slightest idea of what he would have done, could not hold back a _real_ smile.

* * *

Roy gulped anxiously and slowly put his gloves, lulled by the smooth leather that covered his ashen skin. He looked in the mirror and stared at his own reflection, intrigued by his own image that stared at him in return.

"What?" he barked, only to realize that he was alone in the empty bathroom and that if he hadn't quickly walked out that door he would have lost his mind.

The tip of his ears brightened, but soon Roy regained his composure and after a last look in the mirror, left for the hallway.  
He noticed Falman, whom was whispering with Breda, and joined them.

"Führer." they welcomed him, doing the military salute.

"Please stay. Captain, I wish to discuss with you about some matters regardin-" Roy was interrupted by an annoying voice, which was complaining.

"I can't really understand why I have to meet this fuckin' Führer of my ass, is it really necessary, Havoc?"

Roy's heart leaped in his chest: _Fullmetal_.

"Edward, you know that Mustang is really-" Havoc replied mildly, waving his arms in order to calm down the destructive storm that was being Edward Elric.

"I don't fuckin' care about what your fuckin' employer could think about me. I think that all this procedure is useless and no one will ever convince me otherwise." he finished, appearing loping before Roy.

The Führer slammed his foot on the floor, arching an eyebrow annoyed and crossing his arm on his chest, trying to hide the fact that his heart was bursting against his ribs.  
He drank from his sight, not losing the smallest detail of his image.  
Edward Elric was still too short for his age, his hair ridiculously tied in a braid and ridiculously too long for a man, his usual red cloak covered his shoulders and if Roy had had to pinpoint a most ridiculous clothing, he would never have found a worthy rival. If only that damn kid wasn't so stubborn about his too blatant appearance, he could have been considered a man and not a mere child.  
Edward Elric was so annoyingly ridiculous that Roy hated with all his heart the fact that the same ignorant, jerk, troublesome, irritating Edward Elric was perfect at his sight.

 _Fuckin' perfect._

"I note with regret that you haven't lost your demeanour, Fullmetal." Mustang said, ready to hear the annoying complaints of his former worker.

Their eyes met and Roy lost his breath.

"My name's Edward Elric, Führer. Nice to meet you." Fullmetal stretched his hand, lowering his head out of respect.

 _What. The. Fuck._

* * *

Mustang punched the wall and ran a hand through his hair, a low laugh escaped his lips and Hawkeye stared at him worried: Roy was unrecognizable at her eyes.  
He was walking back and forth and never stood, his lips reduced in a thin line, his eyebrows frowned in confusion and his demeanour totally out of character.

"He must be kidding, there's no other explanation." he murmured at least, plopping on the desk of his office.

"Führer-" she watched his shoulders tensing. " _Roy_ , I do not think that Edward Elric is pretending."

"You do not think." he mocked the Colonel, laughing again and Hawkeye shivered at the bitterness in his voice. "You do not think that the older Elric Brother is capable of this? You do not think that Edward Elric, that pain in the ass, is capable of assembling the joke of the century. You do not think that Edward Elric, the same Fullmetal whom was never respectful, never deferential and never fuckin' dutiful, could pretend that he doesn't recognize the Führer of Amestris, the same Führer he had asked an _enormous favour_ -Yes, Hawkeye. You know too damn well that finding Doctor Marcoh in that lost refuge was not easy _at all_ -, while recognizing _all_ the other inhabitants of Central and of this fuckin' world." he finished, catching his breath and trying to regain his composure.

The ex Lieutenant clenched her right fist and thinned her lips, boring her eyes on the back of her employer. She took two steps forward and grabbed Roy's shoulder, making him turn.

As soon as his gaze met her eyes burning with anger, he turned pale and swallowed, ready to suffer a blow that never came.  
Hawkeye arched an eyebrow and for one single moment she let her guard down, showing her affection for that impossible man that was her chief, but soon her determination returned and madness took control of her body again.

"I do not care what _you_ think Roy." she grabbed the collar of his uniform. "Go to him and talk. Try to understand what is happening, otherwise I'll make sure that who will forget of the Führer, will be yourself." Hawkeye released him and Roy passed an hand on his neck, still shaken.

Riza pointed the door and the ex Colonel nodded.

"I'm going." he murmured, before leaving the room scared to death.

The woman sighed exasperated.

* * *

The drumming of his fingers on the back of the chair was the only sound that was running through the walls of the empty corridor.

"Could you stop, please?" Havoc shaked his head in irritation and reached into his pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes; with a fluid movement of his fingers, he opened it and grabbed the white stick with his lips. "You're unnerving, Edward." he finished, accosting the cigarette at the lighter.

"Nope, Havoc. I won't stop, unless you explain to me what the fuck is going on." Fullmetal stretched his legs and stared at Havoc, smiling with mischief. "I can't believe it." he continued incredulous and excited.

The older man pulled a puff of smoke and turned confused at the sudden change of the boy's voice: it was as if he was amused by something, but he couldn't exactly read his mind, so he gave up and raised his hands.

"You can't believe in what?"

"Gotcha. This Roy Mustang of which you insist on talking about is a fuckin' mad man, that lost his mind and I have to agree with everything he says. Otherwise, you know..." Edward put a finger on his temple and double-tapped against his skin, whistling.

Their conversation was interrupted by the entrance of Mustang, that as soon as fixed his attention on the bent figure of Fullmetal, stiffened his jaw in rage.

"Leave us alone, Jean." he scanned the words and Havoc shuddered at the intensity of his glare.

"See ya later, Edward." he fretted outside and closed the door behind his back.

They stood alone, facing each other in complete earnestness.

"What is _this_ story about?" Mustang spoke first and rested his hand on the table, stroking the surface of it.

Edward shrugged and crossed his legs, not losing his annoying demeanor and arrogance. "I do not know what you're talking about." he mocked him, arching an eyebrow presumptuous.  
Roy grabbed the edge of the table, until his knuckles turned white under the cloth.

"What is this story about, _Fullmetal_?" he repeated, removing the gloves and putting it in the pocket of his trousers.

He took a step forward and rested his gaze on the blond head of the sitting ex Alchemist, who challenged him with his eyes and glare.

"I do not know what you're talking about, _Führer_." Edward replied, not looking down.

A bitter smile appeared on Roy's thin lips and he briefly closed his eyes, trying to calm down.

 _"I'll never forget your help, Mustang._  
 _Thank you, sneaky bastard."_

 _Roy crumpled the note found on the parchment and threw it in the trash._  
 _His heart beated against his chest._  
 _He called Hawkeye, then, and showed her Fullmetal's letter._

"What's wrong, _Führer_? It seems that you cannot remember something of vital importance-" Mustang snapped and grabbed him by the neck, pushing him against the wall and bringing their faces close.

"I don't know what game you're playing at, Fullmetal." he hissed, staring into his eyes -the gaze of the younger suddenly changed and lost all of its arrogance-. "But I do know one thing," his fingers trembled against his sensitive skin and Edward swallowed. "If only-"

"I can't remember you."

Roy let go and looked at his hand like a madman, a tingling on his back and he opened his eyes caught off guard.

 _His voice-_

"I can't really remember you."

 _was so desperate and honest._

* * *

The wind blowed gently, caressing the foliages of the trees below, swaying in a mesmerizing dance that caught Roy's breath.  
His left hand shaked on the old cold steel of the balustrade, while his right fingers plunged in his pocket and grabbed a silvery case.  
With tremolous grip he opened it and pulled out a cigarette, gluing his eyes on the few words internally carved: " _Never forget._ "

"I recall I did something similar, once."

Roy didn't wince, he just closed the case with a sharp click and continued to flow with his gaze on the surrounding landscape.

"I didn't think you were a smoker, Mustang."

Young hands rested next to his.

"You don't remember me, Fullmetal. How could you know?" Roy softly muttered, moving the cigarette from his right hand to the left, that rested near Edward's.

Their hands in comparison were completely different: his ashen skin was rough and tick, the back crossed by thin greenish lines, his fingers long and slender.  
His hands were the hands of a man that had lost everything, despite the hope.  
Edward's hands, instead, showed all the youth of his age: rosy soft skin and just the sketchy pale shadow of his veins above.  
His hands were the hands of a man that had still hope, despite everything.  
Their hands were dissimilar in so many ways, yet they were both the hands of men that had killed.  
Killed in cold blood and without the smallest remorse.  
Hands of murderers, hands of men that had endured and inflicted pain.  
Hands of broken men, that couldn't fix themselves.

"What was that incision?" Edward asked, glancing briefly at his fingers fiddling with the cigarette.

A mild breeze passed between them and Roy closed his eyes.

"I do not smoke. Never did. I just love lingering on the edge of how things would have been different If I had accepted a cigarette long time ago." the lights of the street lamps flickered, while the steam of a chimney in the distance raised and whirled in the dingy sky.

"What was her name?"

Roy bitterly smiled.

"Arleen."

 _Her tapered and long legs rested on the untrimmed sheets and her carnal red lips were sensuously wrapped around the yellowish filter._  
 _Roy rebuttoned his shirt and stopped halfway when her nails scratched the skin of his chest._

 _"Stay for a cigarette." her voice reached his ears from behind the waterfall of her long brown hair._

 _"I can't." he stood up and approached the door._

 _"Don't go there, stay for a cigarette." she insisted, her black eyes glued to his back._

 _Roy shaked his head and grasped the handle._

 _"Give my regards to Madame Christmas." then he left the room._

 _That day he would have joined to the army and while he was on the train directed to Central City he didn't notice the cigarette case put in his satchel._

The man moved his hand from the railing and deigned the boy of a single long look, meeting his indomitable gaze, and took two steps before stopping halfway.  
He clenched his fist.

"What did you mean?" he whispered, waiting for any response.

Edward swallowed and didn't turn, the gentle wind slightly messed his hair.

"What did I mean, when?"

" _I can't really remember you._ " he recited. "What did you mean, Edward?" a shiver crossed his back.

 _His name was so right on his lips._

"What were we, Roy?"

A deafening sound and a bitter smile painted on Edward's lips: Roy had left the terrace.  
Fullmetal placed a strand of hair behind his ear.

 _"Equivalent Exchange."_

 _His gold eyes suddenly opened._

 _"I am ready."_

"I'm sorry." he murmured to the emptiness.

* * *

The rain rhythmically tapped on the cold asphalt, the sound of the poison drops, that left little speckles on the anonymous concrete, was deafening Edward, whom helpless stood under the water that wildly crashed against his clothes, gluing the fabric to his skin.

 _"One thing for another, young Edward Elric."_

 _"I know."_

He had always loved rain, since he was a kid. Whenever Al was scared of the thunders, he sat near his bed and rested his hand on his forehead, until he got to relax again.  
And for a single moment he could pretend that the cold steel under his fingers, was the soft blondish hair tufts of his little brother.  
The skin of his hand tingled at the dry sensation, but he _could pretend_.  
The rainy nights had always been his favourite, because was in those same nights that he could feel like a real brother and not a desperate child, too old for his own age -the things he had seen, had lived his in his nightmares for too long-, who had gambled with life.  
He loved rainy nights, because whenever he felt alone, he could desperately cling to those brief memories: Alphonse and him, when their life _could be_ normal.  
The sound of an horn reclaimed his attention and Edward turned briefly, his eyes blinded by the headlight of a car.  
The transport, stopped near his figure and a window was lowered from the inside.  
The soft face of Colonel Hawkeye made its appearance.  
Edward held his breath.

"Get in the car."

* * *

She passed him a towel through the crack and he grabbed it with one hand, resting it on his shoulders.

"Thanks." he murmured, pushing the door. "I'll finish soon." he finished, closing it entirely.

Edward reached the mirror and observed his reflection with attention: his broad shoulders were dappled of white little scars, gained during the last two years of his life.  
His golden eyes, surrounded by soft and thin lines, rested on a red sharp scar, placed on his left hip.

 _The knife penetrated his skin and Edward collapsed on the ground._  
 _Fast steps approached and his sight quivered, trying to not lose his concentration._

 _"Fullmetal!" Mustang's voice reached his ears, before he lost consciousness._

 _The next morning he woke up in an hospital bed and the first image that caught his attention, was the figure of the Colonel, asleep on a chair near him._

Edward blinked in confusion and brought a hand on his forehead, squirming his eyes.

 _What was that?_

Trying to regain control on himself, reached for his black shirt and wore it, grimacing when the fabric caressed the point in which his automail used to be.  
He couldn't forget how was before, when everything was just _different_.  
Yet he had lost memory of _him_.  
He unleashed his braid and careless passed his fingers through his hair, trying to remove the knots; then he tied it in a quick ponytail and left the bathroom.  
Hawkeye's back welcomed him: she was reading a book, sitting on a velvet couch, with her legs crossed.  
As soon as he made his entrance, she lift her gaze and smiled softly at him.

"Are you feeling better?" she gently asked, arching her brows when Edward passed a hand on his neck in embarrass.

"Thank you, Colonel." he muttered, sitting on a chair in front of her.

"You are confused, Edward. Aren't you?" she said, sighing inwardly when she noticed the younger's stiff posture. "You must not give up and soon you'll see that you will regain your memories." she sentenced, resting her face between her hands.

"I don't want to."

Hawkeye stopped fiddling with her earrings and glued her attentive eyes on him.

 _He was scared._

"Why?"

Fullmetal suddenly got up and took the red cloak, folded on the backrest of his chair.

"I have to go. Thank you for your hospitality, Colonel. I really owe you." he didn't answer and reach for the exit.

"You are important to him, you know?" Edward turned and fixed his gaze on her hurt brown eyes, deprived of their light for one single moment. " _You_ are important to him."

Edward widened his eyes and thinned his lips in understatement and grief.

"You are in love with him."

She bitterly smiled.

"I've always been." her eyes flickered, but then a new strength took possession of her body and molded her smile into a soft and motherly curve. "Now go, I think you'll find a very welcome surprise in your apartment." she opened the door, but Edward stretched his hand, returning her smile, when their hands shaked.

"Thank you, Riza."

* * *

The key rattled, when Edward put in the lock and turned to the right, opening the door of his apartment.  
The lamp issued a soft light and Edward's eyebrows arched, when he noticed the figure of his brother sitting on the sofa.  
A big smile bursted on his face and so its twin on the lips of Alphonse.  
They ran towards each other and immediately clutched one at the other with desperation, hugging until they fell to the floor.

"How-"

"How are you, brother?" their voice mixed in a chaos of sounds and a laugh escaped their lips, when they noticed their similar watery eyes.

Their hearts beated furiously in their chest bursting with joy.  
Alphonse sniffed and standing up from the fitted carpet, cleaned the dust on his tobacco trousers, offering a hand to his brother and helping him to stand up as well.

"Colonel Hawkeye informed me of what happened to you and I couldn't not come back, even if it's just for a brief time." his gentle voice had the power to relax Edward, whom shaked his head in disbelief.

Sometimes he used to forget that his nightmare, his ruin and his personal hell, was finally over: Alphonse had had his body back.  
The first time they came back to that apartment, after all it had happened, Edward had watched his brother sleep and had drunk from his sight, imprinting in his memory all the details of his features.  
He had had a haircut that same morning and his blond short hair didn't fall on his forehead as they were kids.  
Short hair, a sharp and strong jaw, golden eyes so similar to his own, but with a greener shade.  
Even if his little brother carried on his body the marks of what they have endured, his ribs were too prominent and the muscle weakness made him snap too many times per day, he was beautiful at his eyes.  
Alphonse was wonderfully handsome.

"That badass always knows what we all need." Edward joked, sprawling on the sofa and inviting his brother to do the same.

Alphonse took place next to him, keeping his elegance and composure.

"I can't stay for long, so I'll come directly to the core of the reason for I am here." the younger looked attentive him in the eye. " _Why_ , Edward?"

Edward observed the automail of his leg and thinned his lips thoughtfully, refusing to answer.  
Alphonse sighed and his eyes wetted again.

"Was it worth?" the words hung in the room and the gloom was a clear image of what wasn't being said.

"I-" Edward shaked his head and lost his voice, faltering on his own syllables.

"Is something changed, even if you can't remember?" he noticed the hurt in his golden eyes and stiffened his jaw. " _Are you_ changed, brother? Did anything change for you?" a tear crossed Edward's cheek.

 _So proud and brave, yet so scared of the world._

"Let's go. I really want to take something to eat, I'm starving." Alphonse placed a hand on his shoulder and helped him to stand up.

After all they had to catch on so many things.

* * *

 _"I saw something in the Gate."_

 _"What did you see?"_

 _"I can't tell you."_

* * *

The next morning Edward walked Alphonse to the station, the whistle of the train deafened their ears.

"Alphonse." Edward called his brother, before he boarded the vehicle.

"Do take care of yourself, brother." he smiled and put his suitcase on the small ladders of the train that would have taken him to Xing.  
"And do take care of yourself, little brother." they exchanged a knowing smile.

"Talk to him, stay with him and try to remember."

Edward didn't lower his gaze.

"Why?"

"Because he's important to you." the automatic doors closed and Alphonse's face was hidden by the glass.

The last thing Edward saw before the train left, was his brother's hand put on the transparent surface.

* * *

 _"You shouldn't blame yourself, jackass."_

 _Roy tights his jaw and rolls his eyes when he hears the nickname._

 _"How could I not?" he murmurs slowly, glancing at him. "How could I not, Maes? You're dead." he states, dropping to the ground and circling his knees with his arms. "You're dead." he whispers again, while his lips tremble._

 _A sudden warm feeling startles him and he finds himself staring at the kind and smooth face of Hughes, who tries to comfort him with a hand on his left shoulder._

 _"It's not your fault, Roy." his fingers clasp his skin. "It's not your fault." he repeats, sitting beside him and watching the loppy receiver of a public phone._

 _They're in the place where Hughes died, Roy notices absently._

 _"Did it hurt?"_

 _A small smile shows on his comrade's face and Roy understands how much he misses that donkey._  
 _The things they had seen during the war, were those types of things that bonded men for life._

 _"It hurt more what was left behind, rather than what was taken."_

 _The receiver continues to dangle and Roy finds himself hypnotized by the slow swing._

 _"I-"_

 _"I know."_

 _Roy rears his head and meets his eyes._

 _"Live, Roy. Live and don't let rip from your life what you love the most."_

 _The phone rings and the noise breaks the silence, stopping Roy's heart for a single moment._

 _"Maes."_

 _"It must be my call." he smiles at him with affection and Hughes gets up, reaching the cornet. "I never understood how these things work. Am I wrong or the receiver should be hung to the phone to work?" he shrugs and laugh at his own joke. "Damn dreams, they must be always so weird. Isn't it true?" he looks at him one last time in the eye and then put the cornet at his ear._

 _The last thing Roy feels is the warmth of a hand on his left shoulder._

Mustang suddenly woke up and stared unemotionally at the ceiling.

* * *

The clock ticked strongly, the watch hands performed the reason for they were created and drew an invisible trail on the round dial, marking the inevitable seconds stolen at the humanity.  
Humans were frail, ephemeral in their perception of pain, pleasure, love, desperation, will to live.  
Men were mere containers of fragile souls, yet sometimes some of them stood out above the others, never corrupted, never deprived of their original innocence.  
Pure in a polluted world.  
Edward Elric was one of them and Roy was sure of it.  
Pressing a finger on the edge of the glass, he stood up and downed in one gulp the last drop of wine deposited on the bottom of the glass.  
He squinted his eyes for the strong sweet sensation on his tongue and started to climb the stairs that would have led him in his bedroom, when the doorbell rang.  
Surprised by the sound he reached for the door and grabbed the handle with strength, opening it.  
Fullmetal was in front of him, his gaze fixed to the ground, his fist clenched to the point to make his knuckles white and the back of his hands purple for the vigor.  
Then his eyes raised up on him and Roy could clearly recognize that fire in which he had drowned years before.

 _The same fire._

"We need to talk."

* * *

The gravel of the park in front of the Central was being crushed by their slow steps as they walked in silence one beside the other, observing the sky above them.  
Edward loved putting his hands in his pocket while walking; they made him feel more confident, gaining in gravity whatever he hadn't received in height.  
Roy loved walking with crossed arms, whenever he wasn't in service; they made him feel more free, without losing his natural dignity.

"What did you want to talk about?" the Führer asked annoyed, hiding with skill the blood pulsing through his veins towards his heart, that beated so strongly he thought it would have broken through his ribs.

Fullmetal seemed to think over his question, not finding the courage to express his thoughts aloud.

"If it hadn't been important, I swear I would already have kicked your ass from Central to Xing just to wipe out that smug face of yours." Edward replied irate.

He had used the same words of the letter he had sent to him before the beginning of everything.

 _If only._

"Fullmetal." Roy invited him to speak.

Edward sighed and kept walking stubborn, not looking him into the face.

"Now I'm gonna ask you one question and I'm gonna exepect the whole truth, is it clear?

"I didn't remember you could be so bossy, Fullmetal." Roy ironized, trying to ease the tension.

The blond dismissed him with a hand gesture and Mustang shrugged.  
The silence fell between them.

"What were we, Mustang?"

Roy suddenly stopped and shifted his foots, kicking a pebble.

"Why?" he asked, closing his dark eyes.

There were times in every man's existence in which they suddenly found themselves on the edge of their certainties. One misplaced step and they would have fallen on the wrong side, where they wouldn't have found a net in which they could have landed. However the rush, the stream of courage and bravery that pushed some of them to throw with closed eyes on the unknown, sometimes saved them by the misery of the human soul.

"Answer me." Edward retorted with fierceness.

 _That time had arrived for Roy._

"We were nothing, Fullmetal. Nothing."

The silence that followed, lowered the curtain on their words and both of them, incapable of bearing the look of the other, resumed their walk.

 _White arms stretched and Edward barred his eyes in dread._

 _"Edward Elric, it's time for you to keep your promise."_

 _They took and dragged him in the Gate._

The amazement of a child in front of the power of the nature is a wonder itself. Put some iron filings on the surface of a table and put a magnet under it, at the center of the shadow created by that dust, and you'll see the daze in the eyes of that young creature: the magnetic field lines will have performed their magic again.  
Edward had always been fascinated by the branch that tried to unify Alchemy and Magnetism in the same discipline, so the natural thought that came in his mind in that precise moment was son of his own passions.  
They had always been as two magnets with opposite poles. Every single time they tried to reach for the other, they just brought near the wrong pole and the innate consequence of that urge reverberated in their mutual rejection and departure.  
Never the opposite poles, that were meant to bond, met.

"What do you feel for me?"

A little push, a little forcing and the magnet sensed the presence of its twin.  
Roy whirled and glued his mad eyes to his face, grabbing his collar and bringing him close to his face.

"What do you feel for me?" Edward repeated, gulping and closing his eyes.

The magnets had touched and had been united in one single body.  
Roy looked at his lips and brought his face closer, until only one inch separated their skin, burning for an awaited contact that never came.

"I feel nothing." then he left the grasp on him and after one last look that showed all his resentment and disappointment for his words, stormed away, leaving him magnets had rejected each other and would have never met again.

* * *

 _His shape stands at the center of the white room, still, with his head bowed and his arms stretched at his sides._  
 _He shows his back and Roy can recognize his long blond hair tied in a low braid, his red cloak wrapping his shoulders._  
 _He takes a step and stretches his arm, trying to reach him._

 _"Fullmetal." he touches his skin and a sudden sting forces him to retract his burnt hand, while Edward's figure disappeares at his sight._

 _Roy widenes his eyes and looks around, noticing how the room is just empty; no doors, no windows, just white and aseptics walls and floor._  
 _A sudden clink make him jolt and he turns his face towards the source of the noise, seeing Edward sat on the floor, with his body resting on his legs_

 _"Edward." he calls him, but all the answer he receives is just a mild breeze that brushes his black hair._

 _"Edward." he picks up the pace, reaching the younger and plopping beside him._

 _"Leave me alone." Fullmetal whispers and Roy blinks his eyes at the sudden change of light: it is dark and no feature of the room can be recognized._

 _"What-" a sudden noise and an object that falls to the floor in front of his eyes: Fullmetal's clock stained with blood and its old and worn chain wrapped on itself._

 _Someone grabbs him and Roy glues his gaze to dark empty orbits, surrounded by purple dark circle, without eyes._

 _"Fullmetal." Roy sighes petrified, stretching his hand and taking Edward's cheek in his grasp. "What have they done to you?"_

 _A bitter smile on the chapped lips of the younger and his hollow voice replies._

 _"You let me down."_

 _Roy shivers._

He woke up.

* * *

One of the saddest and most common story in the existence of a human being is the farewell to something _-to someone-_ you love with every inch and fiber of your being. Saying goodbye to those brief and important memories, those short moments in which you were happy, _truly happy_ , and anything couldn't wipe out your harmony, one single minute of his smile or her hand on your shoulder, maybe is the hardest part of life.  
Sometimes someone finds their courage and succeeds in facing up to the reality, letting go what must be left.  
Sometimes someone hides themselves behind the fake image of a fake inexistent story.  
Sometimes someone finds their courage and succeeds in letting go what must be left, but hides themselves behind a receiver, incapable of observing his eyes.  
Roy grabbed the phone when it rang and put the cornet at his ear, squinting his eyes to see the time on the alarm clock: 3.45 a.m.

"Mustang." he said in his usual professional tone, expecting a cry of help from someone in the Central for an urgent question that had to be presented to the Führer of Amestris.

"You must not give up on him." a low voice answered him, making him shiver for its flat tone.

"Hawkeye?" Roy asked, passing a hand on his uncombed hair and rising from bed, sitting on the mattress.

"Did you understand me?" the inflection of her timbre froze him, whom focused his eyes on the white and bare wall in front of him.

"What are you saying?" he questioned her, while the cloud of confusion started to rise.

A heavy sigh vibrated through the electronic equipment and Roy pressed the receiver closer to his ear, while his hand trembled, sensing that soon would have been the ending of something.

"I saw you yesterday, Roy. You must not let him go." she whispered, while her voice struggled to hold back a sob that didn't escape at his attention.

"Hawkeye." Mustang got up and clutched the telephone cord, not ready to let go.

The lighthouse of a passing machine blinded him for an instant and a compact white showed up in front of his eyes.

"It won't change anything, I promise you. I'll always have your back." she murmured and Roy could clearly recognize the hint of a smile in the inclination of her voice that had softened. "Yet you owe me one thing."

The tremor returned and he bit his lips in defeat, listening to the sound that came on the other side of the cornet.

"Be happy and fight for what you care the most. Do not let him go. Do not give up on him. Fight for him."

"Riza-"

" _Goodbye, Roy._ " a withheld sob and the cornet was hung up.

Roy put the receiver on the bedside table and passed a hand on his face, covering his eyes, aware that he had just said goodbye to something he didn't know he had.  
Aware that something had changed for his best and that someone had just begged him to do not give up on someone else, giving up on him in turn.  
Sometimes someone finds theis courage and succeeds in letting go what must be left: Riza had just found it.  
Yet a single tear on her cheek had just tore her apart.

* * *

Roy used to sleep on the left side of the bed, with his back facing the door and his arm stretched on the other side of the mattress.  
Often his fingers used to curl on the sheet and clenched the soft cloth in a desperate grip. Roy had always slept alone and no one had ever seen him under the pale light of the early rising sun, that passed through the badly closed blind of the single window in the room.  
His bed was a double one, one of the few concessions he had allowed himself during his life.  
Yet even if he had all the space he wanted, he never occupied the right side, as if there was another person curled under his arm, in search of warmth and protection.  
Roy used to sleep on the left side of his bed, to avoid being caught unprepared when he would have found the person he would have protected until his last breath.  
Because just sometimes he needed that. He needed to feel what meant to hold on that one person for which you would give your life.  
Edward's room wasn't bare or empty, instead was full of useless trinkets and the mess used to fill it in front of people's eyes.  
He loved the comfortable sight of all his possessions placed in the right site.

"You'll be smothered by all that garbage." Alphonse used to grumble, whenever he stepped inside and lifted his eyes to the sky.

His bed was stacked on the bottom of the room, almost hidden from the prying eyes of the people.  
It was a single one and Edward used to sprawl above it whenever he had the occasion, bringing all his notes in which he used to note every crazy idea he had.  
He knew he had a small space on the mattress and that common reason wanted that he occupied every inch of it, whenever he went to bed.  
Yet he used to squash on the right side, burying his nose under the blanket in search of a warmth that he never found.  
Edward used to sleep on the right side, unconsciously hoping to find that person who would have protected him until their last breath.  
Because just sometimes he needed that. He needed to feel what meant to be protected and not to protect.  
Roy's bedroom wasn't full, wasn't lived. It was bare and naked, never touched and never really loved.  
Edward's bedroom wasn't empty, wasn't unlived. It was sated and big, always used and animated.

Yet loneliness seemed to be attached to the walls of both.

* * *

The swish made by the pen that was flying on the piece of sheet, was the only noise present in the room.

After all, they were in Central City, one of the most important and operative cities of Amestris and the citizen couldn't expect less by the State's Military Body,  
Or this was the story they often were told.  
The little detail that the most trusted squad working with the Führer himself, was chatting and speculating about their boss' life was totally neglectable.

"What do you think of the situation, Fuery?" the small man settled the glasses on his nose and bent his lips thoughtfully.

"I suppose that they'll find a resolution and-" the ring of the phone interrupted their conversation and he immediately grabbed the cornet. "Fuery. Yes?" he scribbled something on a block notes. "I'll report him as soon as he'll come." he hanged up and fixed his gaze on Falman.

Heavy footsteps drew the attention on themselves, announcing the ingress of Breda, whom sprawled on the chair. "Look what I've found guys." he said, showing them two diet bars. "And do not dare to say I'm not on a diet." he clinched, threatening them with the empty package of a snack.

Fuery rolled his eyes.

"Maybe if Fullmetal tried to-"

"Hush. He's coming." Fuery interrupted him, pointing at the corridor with his neck.

Falman nodded and returned to his place, pretending to work.  
Roy made his entrance and loped entering into his office without deigning anybody with a single glance and slamming the door behind his back.  
They exchanged confused looks and started to speculate again.

"Is he angry?" Breda asked with his mouth full of food.

The door suddenly opened again and Roy peeped.

"I'm not here for anyone. _Anyone._ " he barked, slamming the door again with more strenght.

"He's bloody angry." Fuery sighed, getting up aware that soon he would have met certain death. "It was good to work with you, guys." he murmured, before reaching Roy's office and knocking.

The watch ticked for 35 seconds before a grumpy voice said "Go on."

Fuery settled his glasses and opened the door.

"Roy, I was told that the Major Elric is waiting for a notification by your-"

"I do not care." Roy interrupted him, dismissing him with a hand gesture.

Fuery widened his eyes.

"But you didn't listen to me." he protested, standing in front of him.

"I do not care." Roy's voice was muffled to Falman's ears, but he could clearly recognize the flatness in his words.

"Come here, Fuery." he whispered to his friend, sprawling on the desk. "I think I've got it."

Fuery closed the doors and reached him, while Breda did the same opening a new snack.

"Fullmetal has done something big. Something unforgivable." he murmured gravely.

"Where the fuck is he?" a powerful and angry voice startled them, but soon they regained their composure and with their swivel chairs, dispersed the small circle that was created by their crouched figure and returned to their original sites.

"Who, Edward?" Breda dared to ask, chewing with his mouth and casting furtive glances at his right, meeting the imperceptible shrug of Falman, whom pretended to write something on a file.

"That awful boss of yours. The dickhead." Edward spit, tapping his foot on the floor and crossing his arms on the chest.

Fuery raised his head and took the glasses off, cleaning them with a blue handkerchief. "You know that you can't come here without a forewarning, Edward. Roy will be mad as hell."

"Who cares." he interrupted him, squinting his eyes. "Where is he?" slowly repeated, trying to contain his enrage without success.

"In his office." Falman answered back, departing from the desk, failing to retain the hint of a smile.

Fullmetal turned up the collar of his red cloak and loped towards Roy's door, bringing near his fist to the wood, ready to knock, but the door suddenly opened and he stopped his motion, meeting dark eyes that looked at him with pure disdain.

"What do you want, Fullmetal?" a cold voice asked him, arching an eyebrow and ready to fight with all its strength to win the battle that soon would have happened there in Central.

Breda passed a hand through his hair and threw the packs of the eaten snacks in a trash can he had put under his desk.

"You can't deny me that permission." Edward protested, departing from Roy's figure to avoid to deal a blow on that smug face.

"Can't I, Fullmetal?" Roy smirked, taking two steps. "Yet the last time I checked, I still was the Führer of Amestris." he retorted, fleetingly looking at Fuery, whom as soon as he felt observed, started to work again, conscious that if he had had been caught eavesdropping he would have passed a very bad time.

"You know too that you want me out of the way. So why do you insist on denying me that visa for Xing?" Edward clenched his fist and bit his lips.

"Look at you, Fullmetal. You're so short that you're forced to put on your tiptoes to reach a decent height."

Falman put a hand on his face, fearing the outburst that soon would have arrived.

"You, bastard that hide your receding hairline with that ridiculous fringe." Roy widened his eyes and ruffled his hair. "How dare you to call me short?" Edward took two steps and pointed his fingers against his chest, poking it.

Fuery settled his glasses, while a drop of sweat made Breda shiver.

"I'll make your life a living hell." he threatened him, clenching his teeth.

"You'll never have the pass."

Their eyes met, while the thunderbolts seemed to resonate in that room where the officers couldn't hide.  
A last intense glance and Edward stormed away, while Roy returned to his office and slammed the door with violence.  
The silence reigned in the room and the only present noise was the heavy breathing of the three involuntary witnesses of one of the most dangerous arguments of those last years.

"They've definitely argued." Fuery murmured and Breda nodded, while Falman lowered his shoulders.

* * *

It's one of the most ancient stories in the world: you own something for a lifetime and you do not care about it; you just know that it'll always be there for you, in your best and worst time, and it's enough.  
You own something and you do not care about it; you do not give it the right value, you take it for granted, sure that you'll never lose it.  
Sometimes you grow bored and you start to look for something else, something fresh that could wipe away all the cobwebs of dust that seems to envelope your everyday and you disregard that single thing, that fixed point in your hours, that looks at you from the corner in which you left it.  
Yet when you lose it, when you see that same thing becoming of someone else, you feel that weird and strange feeling that grip on your chest.  
You miss the fact that you were the center of its attention, you miss the fact that it would have given its life for you, for one of your smiles and one of your nods of approval.  
You grow selfish and you can't really regret it. After all it was stolen from you.  
That was the way Roy was feeling, when Lieutenant Havoc reached Hawkeye in the corner and put a hand behind her back, being careful to not touch too much skin left visible by the neckline of the elegant dress she was wearing.  
You feel it in the small things like that, that a person cares about you: the respect they show you in every possible occasion.  
Riza was not an object Roy owned, he knew that. She was a wonderful woman and it was time that he freed her from his web.  
She had the right to live her life and to go on.  
Roy gulped and closed his eyes when Hawkeye turned and directed her amazing smile to the Lieutenant, with mirth that painted her brown eyes.  
Maybe for them there was still hope.  
Roy withdrew to the other side and shaked his head, trying to dissipate the egoistical feeling that had clenched his heart at that moment.

 _He had no rights on her, he never had._

Madame Christmas had given the best of herself for that party and that could be noticed on the care she put on the decorations hanging on the walls of the brothel.  
It is often said that whenever a person lack of essence, tries to compensate in exteriority, yet the opulent atmosphere wasn't a symbol of lack of affection in her life.  
His relationship with Madame Christmas had always been peculiar: it could be said that she grew him as a perfect stranger and not as her own son.  
Yet if Roy had had the chance, he wouldn't have changed anything about her.

"Roy-boy, come here and give your regards to the newest forty." he was mocked by her hoarse voice.

"It doesn't work with me, old hag. I still don't understand why you had to invite all the team to this ridiculous party."

She directed him a crooked and knowing smile, arching her eyebrows.

"To give some vitality to your personal zombies. What else?" she turned and let him daze at the center of the room.

He looked at his right and noticed a blond ponytail entering the exit connected to the terrace.  
Caressing the white scarf he had hung around the neck, letting himself being cuddled by the smooth cloth, took his first steps of the evening and reached for the same access.  
Fullmetal was resting on the railing, while some tufts escaped by the elastic were free of moving.  
An elegant dress wrapped his body and Roy gulped, feeling a sudden warmth rising on his neck.

"Stay away." a low voice reached his ears and Roy shocked his head, clenching his fist while he reached him.

"Why?" he asked, without looking at him and limiting to observing the landscape.

"I'm so sick of your lies." Edward answered, drumming on the banister and grimacing when the skin of his palm hit the cold metal with a burn.

A laugh bursted from the inside, but Roy didn't deconcentrate and well thought his words.

"You're right." he kept his breath. "I lied that day." Edward stiffened, but their eyes continued not to meet.

He closed his eyes and let himself being incorporated by the cold sensation of a chilly hand caressing his skin after the wind rose.

"I need you to trust me."

The words hung on the silence and Roy's heart smashed against his ribs; Fullmetal's lips never lifted, sagged in a straight line.  
A slow melody came from the inside and people started to form pairs to dance.  
Roy stretched a hand and their looks met, his golden eyes wetted with something Roy didn't want to call tears.  
Their hands desperately clung and Roy brought Edward near his body, resting his fingers on his back, breathing the smell of his hair.

 _Sunshine._

They started to take the first steps, their bodies interlaced in something that couldn't be defined as a real dance, yet their hearts seemed to beat in unison for that simple as useless contact.

"There was a woman." Roy dared to break the silence. "Her name was Arleen. She was in love with me." he said, while his words graved on his shoulders.

Edward seemed to find refuge between the folds of his cloth.

"She died." Roy finished, stopping the circular movement of his fingers he didn't know he had started on the back of the other.

"You're asking me to trust you, Edward." the man flinched at hearing his name from his lips. "But my trust was broken long time ago."

 _"Do not die, Arleen. Please."_

 _"I swear, Roy."_

He gulped and felt a knot in his throat, while tears pinched his eyes. He tightened his grip on Fullmetal, fearing that he could vanish at any moment.

 _He couldn't lose him._

"I trust you, Edward." Roy said, moving away and looking him in the eye. "But I need you to trust me." Edward's breath grew harder. "What did happen to you?"

The itch to touch his skin again, to take that strange boy that had happened in his life like a storm years before, was unbearable.  
He seemed so small, there, with his eyes partially hidden by his blond hair, his tendons strained to restrain a scream that couldn't escape from his lugs: so young, yet he had lived the life of so many wars.

"Bring me home, Roy."

Roy widened his eyes and met his look.

There was a whole world of desperation in those golden irises.

He nodded.

There are looks that can be read like an open book and there are looks that are capable of hide every single spark of emotion that could cross those irises.  
When their bodies conjoined, Edward's eyes were inexorably naked, showing what he would have never said aloud.  
Roy felt the gravity of them weighing down his shoulders, yet he couldn't feel more filled in his soul.

 _God, he wanted to blend with that desperation every fuckin' single day of his life._

* * *

The pail rays of the moon reflected on their naked bodies, while the rain tapered against the frosted glass of the ajar window.  
Their legs were entwined under the tangled sheets and the contact of their skin was burning Edward's ribs: the screams scratched against his throat to come out, but he held them back with a low sob.  
He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, feeling the emptiness filling his broken soul: he had to burn his own heart in order to save it from himself.  
Roy's soft breath ignited his brain and he put a hand on his chest, feeling the strong beat under his fingers, storing the notes of that tune in his own core.  
He disentangled their union and sat at the edge of the bed, being careful to not make any noise that could wake him up.  
While the annihilation of his emotions crashed him, he found and wore the clothes that were thrown away in the heat of the night before.

 _If only he could forget._

He reached for the door and touched the tough wood, trying to remember how to breath again.  
Illuminated by the darkness, he didn't grant himself the wish to see his face one last time, aware that those features shattered in pleasure would have been haunted his dreams for the rest of his life, grabbed the knot.

"So it came the time to escape." the coldness froze his motions and Edward turned, meeting his dark eyes and the straight line of his lips.

"You're disappointed." Edward nastily mocked him, maybe the split would have torn apart more gently if it had been sharp and sudden.

"I thought that after tonight-" Roy didn't finish and a bitter laugh shaked his shoulders. "My bad." he said, laying down the bed again.  
Fullmetal turned the knob.

"When you leave, remember to close the door behind your back."

Edward froze and bit his lips, making them bleed, feeling the anger rise in his chest.

"You're a bastard." he murmured, before leaving the room and slamming the door.

The rush to leave that place took possession of his body and Edward started to run, wanting to leave _everything_ that night had meant for him behind him, and reached the principal entrance of Roy's apartment, avoiding to glance at the surrounding.  
Less details, less ache.

"Where do you think you're going?" he had reached him and in one smooth movement had gripped his shoulder, making him turn around and forcing him to meet his eyes.  
Fullmetal stood still and sustained his gaze, not giving in defeat.

"You disgust me." Edward scorned, moving away from him, disdaining the contact, but Roy grabbed him with violence and pulled his head, joining their lips until they bled.

 _That was so wrong._

"Not so eager to escape anymore, I see." Roy sneered with a malevolent glint in his irises.

Edward shoved him, striking against his chest.

"I gave up on you, on what I felt for you, because I saw you dead." he whispered harshly, taking a step behind. "I saw you dead in the Gate, that's why I chose to forget you." Roy stood still and widened his eyes. "Yes, Roy. I deliberately forgot you, because I couldn't bear to see you die."

 _"So you wish to recover your Alchemy, young Edward Elric."_

 _He nodded, glancing at the automail on his leg._

 _"Yes."_

 _"There will be a price."_

 _"I know."_

 _"Watch, Edward Elric. Enter in the Gate and watch what will happen."_

 _Edward opened the white doors and was swallowed up by a whirlpool._

 _"Watch, Edward Elric, and see." the Gate murmured, while images of Roy Mustang flew in front of his eyes._

 _He was alone, at the center of a ring of fire, with notes shed all around._  
 _He seemed so desperate, like he had lost everything that meant the most in his life._

 _"Is he-"_

 _"Yes. He will die for you."_

 _"Stop this. Please, stop it." the voice scratched to overhand the tremor of his body._

 _"There is only one way." the Gate answered sorely._

 _"I'll do anything." Edward fainted._

"I lost every memory I had on you, every single feeling I had for you. Yet it didn't change anything." Edward let himself fall on his knees and put a hand between his hair. "It's all my fault." he moaned. "All my fault."

Roy dropped down beside him and took him into his arms.

"I'm sorry." he whined, feeling tears pinching at his eyes. "I'm sorry." he rested his chin on his head and tightened his hold on Edward, when he felt his body shaken by the sobs.

* * *

Try to glue every shattered memory in one bigger and solid frame, reclaiming those frail flickers of reminiscence of a past life he had never really lived, recovering those perceptions which he had refused, struggling against himself.

 _Feelings that had never completely vanished._

The inexorability of what must happen, fateful, ineluctable in its ruthlessness that breaks and bends the slightest desire of a craving man, desperate in the impossibility to run away from the consequences of his unchosen fate.  
The gloomy weariness and the wretched hopelessness are often the reasons that urge the conscience of a human being to perform their role in the single act of the tragedy aimed to the purpose of surviving.  
Edward had chosen to act that night to get his heart back.  
The alchemical circle was easy to draw, he didn't need to arm oneself with the white chalk, nevertheless the stick remained firm in his grip, while he started to mark those familiar symbols that he had mastered in most of his life.  
He touched the floor and closed his eyes, resting his hands on the white dust left by the chalk.  
A soft and yellowish dim light was issued by his palms and Edward felt the cozy and comfortable known warmth emitting from his body.  
The alchemical circle caught fire and Roy felt snatched a part of himself, as if an iron hand had gripped his throat, cutting off his breath.

 _It couldn't be._

Edward stood at the center of the room, lying down as if he was resting after a hard day of work, with a chalk dropped next to him.  
Roy took a step and knelt near him, while his hand trembled, incapable to caress his forehead.

 _Not him, please._

He drank in his sight and covered his eyes with a stretched arm, trying to suppress the shivers that were crossing his back.

 _God, no._

Edward seemed at peace, with his eyelids gently closed on his golden irises and a slight smile painted on his sinful lips.  
He looked around, looking for something that could be useful and as soon as he located his notes, he rushed as a madman towards those pieces of sheet that seemed the only source of salvation.  
Quivering, he started to read the tiny and messy handwriting of Edward, trying to decipher his words through his eyes misted with tears.

 _Save him, please._

Roy dropped in the center of the alchemical circle and carelessly threw the sheets all around, placing the palms on the triangle in the middle of the figure.  
With tears flowing on his cheeks, he activated his alchemy.  
"Please, let him live." he murmured, before fainting.  
Their bodies were entwined at the center of the fire.

 _"Equivalent Exchange."_

 _His dark eyes suddenly opened._

 _"I am ready."_

 _"One thing for another, Roy Mustang"_

 _"I know."_

 _"There will be a price."_

 _"I don't care. I want him back."_

 _His voice broke and Roy sobbed._

 _"Whatever the price?"_

 _"Whatever the price."_

 _Darkness fell._

* * *

If there had been a painter, he would have been ready to portray the scene in front of his eyes: Edward and Roy, one beside the other, turned towards each other, with their foreheads softly touching.  
It would have been entitled "The death of two lovers", giving the right amount of tragedy that would have allowed him to attract the attention of the public that would have bought the dismay painted on canvas.  
If anyone had have observed the scene from the outside, the first thing they would have noticed would have been the deep bond, which entangled them.  
They would have noticed the deep security and protection the man with darker hair conveyed towards the smaller figure, hidden under his strong and firm clasp.  
Yet the symmetry of the painting was smashed by a slight movement of the blond hair of the younger, whom began to stir and stretch.  
Edward opened his eyes and softly smiled when he felt the weight of Roy's arm on his right shoulder.

 _Everything was fine._

Then all the memories of what had happened suddenly returned and Edward's heart beated furiously against his chest.  
Edward stood up and held his breath, when saw the state in which Roy's house had been reduced.  
All was burnt, all was lost.  
He turned around and then glanced towards him again, trying not to panic and bending down next to him.

"Roy?" he shaked him, gripping firmly his shoulders.

No reaction.  
Putting a hand on his chest, he brought his ear towards his lips, trying to see if there was breath.

"Roy?" Edward punched his rib cage, feeling the bile get in his mouth. "Roy, you damn bastard. Wake up." he yelled against him, shaking his body more and more convulsively.

 _I didn't have the chance to tell him that I-_

He suddenly walked away and put a hand on his lips, shivering and trembling in pain.  
A stream of tears clouded his brain and he screamed, until his voice became harsh and sour, then he leaned against the wall and kicked it, moaning.

"I didn't think you cared so much about me, Fullmetal." a familiar and cunning voice mocked him from behind his back.

Edward smiled inwardly.

"I swear that I'll erase your smug expression from your face with kicks and punches." he answered, reaching him and pulling his hair, enjoying the sensation of the soft straight locks between his fingers.

Their eyes met and everything returned to its place.

"How can I be alive?" Roy asked, getting up with effort, helped by Edward.

"I do not care. You're alive and that's enough."

They reached the ingress of the house and were blinded by the bluish and reddish light of the police siren, that was waiting them outside: Hawkeye, Havoc, Fuery, Falman and Breda were preparing to break into the residence.  
As soon as they noticed them, Roy reassured them with a slight movement of his hand, waving.

"Roy-"

"Yes?" they continued their walk, reaching the ambulance.

"I want my 520 cents back."

Roy stopped and looked into his eye, meeting a cheeky smile.

"That means-"

"Yes." Roy held his breath. "I fuckin' remember you, sneaky bastard."

They smiled.

* * *

 _"Do not forget me, Roy, please. Do not ever forget us."_

 _"I'll never will, Arleen."_

* * *

 _"Whatever the price?"_

 _"Whatever the price._ "


End file.
